i got this stack of beautiful & neat notes on "love", from sis. thankyou so much! so, i shall elaborate. [:
Firstly, what is love?
- Love is difficult to define but is best described as a mature affection for someone who seeks the well being of the other person. It is a two way nurturing relationship based on loyalty and self-sacrifice. We need love and be loved throughout our lives. Love is essential for growth and development from infancy to old age.
Secondly,
Love vs Infatuation, cn you differiate?
Infatuation is often mistaken for love. Usually a person can recognise the experience as infatuation only when the relationship is over.
Infatuation:
1. Infatuation is a an instant desire. Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement.
2. Physical sexual expression is often developed very rapidly before other aspects.
3. Infatuation sees no flaws in the other person.
4. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity.
5. Infatuation is marked by a lack of confidence. One checks whether the person is unfaithful. Insecurity often results in jealousy or possessiveness.
6. When a couple indulges in some form of sexual activity, their reactions sometimes include guilt, fear of discovery or concern over unwanted pregnancy. There is excitement nut no real happiness.
7. Infatuation is impatient and does not consider the risk of losing the other person. It wants immediate gratification. It is based on the expectation that sexual desire will soon be realised.
8. Infatuation is jealous, mistrusting and uncertain. It makes you wonder whether the person is being true to you. Infatuation is selfish. You want to control and be with the other person all the time.
Love:
1. Love is not just a feeling but a relationship.
2. Love is a maturation of friendship. Physical closeness is only one aspect of love.
3. Love is quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection.
4. Love is a commitment. It is based on shared interests and values, mutual trust and concern and good communication.
5. Love means trust. One is calm, secure and is not threatened. Freedom to pursue individual interests enriches the relationship.
6. Although love does not involve a desire for physical closeness, a couple would have shared other experiences important to them and learnt other ways of expressing their affection apart from engaging in intimate acts.
7. Love is patient and confidently plans for the future. One desires physical intimacy but is able to exercise self-restraint.
8. Love is honest. It lets you speak freely about what is on your mind without being afraid that you will be rejected. It treats the other as a person and not as a status symbol to be used. Love always thinks the best of others.
Lastly,
Here are some frequently asked questions for young KIDS:
1. What is 'going steady'?
- 'Going steady' is a form of verbal or non-verbal contract that boys and girls make when they decide to pair off. By declaring that they are 'going steady', they confirm that they like each other very much and that they will not be dating other people. [it's sounds so simple; yet difficult. Agree?]
2. What is the best age for a girl to have a boyfriend?
- There is no ideal age for a girl to have a boyfriend What is more important is the stage of emotional and social maturity she is at. The young teenager should avoid pairing off and instead maintain a pool of non-exclusive friends. Even if the teenager has a boyfriend, it is still important for her to maintain a pool of friends.
3. How do you control your feelings if you really like someone but know that you are too young to get serious?
- These feelings are natural and often you will like certain people more than others. The problems arise when you concentrate all your feelings on just one person and subsequently find it hard to control these growing feelings. You could also become too emotionally dependent on this person. To help yourself keep limits on your affection, maintain a large number of friends both sexes as possible and continue to meet and be friendly to others.
4. Is it good to go steady?
- Going steady in the early teenage years provides additional pressures that most teens do not need. You will be experiencing a lot of personal changes during the teenage years. You may find that both of you are no longer right for each other after a few months of dating. Breaking up would then be very difficult. Going steady also makes you too dependent on one person and this might stifle your personal growth. There is also a greater possibility of being tempted into a sexual relationship.
5. What is infatuation?
- Infatuation is an extravagant foolish admiration.
6. What do you mean by having a crush on someone?
- If you have a crush on someone, it means that you have a strong feeling of attraction for him/her that does not usually last very long.
7. Why do teenagers get infatuated so easily?
- Infatuation is quite a natural phase of development. Normally, young people are not familar with the emotions of romance, love and sensual attraction. Therefore, it is easy for them to tumble head over heels in a giddy-headed relationship.
8. How can you know whether you are in love or merely infatuated?
- It is not always easy. The most important citerion is in deciding who is at the centre of the relationship. If the relationship is superficial and self centred, then it is infatuation. If it is a one-sided relationship, with one person always giving and the other not responding, or only receiving, then it is not love. When ther is love, there will be mutual understanding and concern for each other's feelings and well-being.
9. Is it all right to be infatuated?
- Infatuation can be the first step towards a mature relationship. Often, as you get to know the person better, you may find that you do not have enough in common to develop a deeper and lasting relationship.
10. Does sexual interest conincide with love?
- No, although they are very often inter-linked, there is a distinct difference between sexual interest and love. One should not mistake sex for love. When the passion for sex fades away, a couple is left with nothing in common. In any dating relationship, the couple should set boundaries for physical intimacy.
11. Is it all right to kiss?
- There are social, family and intimate kisses. There is a time and place for each of them. Family kisses are the ones whereby family members express their affection for each other. Social kisses are often used in the West as a greeting or farewell to casual friends. However, in the Asian society, this is not usually done. Some people may embrace and exchange a light peck on the cheek. Intimate kisses are very personal and should be exchanged only between very close partners.
12. Why is self-control necessary?
- Without self-control, we become slaves to our impulses. It affects our health, relationships and self-respect. We should practise self-control in the ways we think, act, talk and dress, so that we would not be sexually tempted. We should also consciously avoid people, places, or situations which will weaken our self-control. Self-control over sexual urges is important. It also helps to raise expectations for responsible behaviour.
13. In the area of sex, why is self-control necessary?
- Young people need to refrain from sex before marriage. Self-control helps you to develop better relationships now and in future.
14. Is self-control easier for some people than for others?
- Yes, but for most people it takes discipline and strength of character to practise self-control. Being involved in sports and other healthy activities also teaches us how to discipline our physical bodies.
Hahas.. interesting uh..! i heard this before but never take it seriously by thinking about it..Haas.. Now i truely understand..lols.xD.. 2dae was a boring day at hm. So stayed at home & do my blog. was changing my blogskin when my "caring" sis sae she help me do. Lols..She took ages to chg..She took the whole morning jus to look at blogskins and decide on 1 specific one..diaos lor.so slow.. den she took the whole aftnn to edit the profile and stuffs. Den i was surfing internet the whole aftnn and msging my DEAR the whole aftnn. Till 4plus, i went to take a nap..Aft that went to bath and go out for Mother's day dinner wit my family..hahas.. den go my grandma hse and sit awhile and went home aft that le.. nw is viwawa-ing time..hahas.. hope i win more..lols.xD.. nites..
delvyn @ Saturday, May 10, 2008;10:39:00 PM
